Key To Driving

Recently, having to write a research paper, the topic being on driving, I came up with quite a few thoughts. However, they would not all work in my paper, so I wrote a satire. Unlike the first time I wrote one, this is a big longer but the theme remains the same. Driving. It was a nice break from in-text citing and be verb eliminating and gave me a nice two hour break. 

It is of course, not to be taken seriously and I cannot be held responsible if any teen attempts to follow these points and fails due to reading this(:

Enjoy,

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The Key To Driving

                                            The teen manual on how to obtain a driver’s license and keep it

Driving is a universal fad among teens. Status is measured not only by what grade you’re in but if you can drive and thus be independent. So how does one become a successful driving teen? Well, it starts with a successful argument.

At a young age many people learn how to make an argument with their parents so effective that they will inevitable get what they want. This type of method is one of the best ways of accomplishing anything a teen could ever want. So here are the steps for convincing the parent. First, a teen should start to sympathize with the amount of work his or her parents have and so make it a point to not only show how much they need her help but how willing she is to give it. Pointing things out like, “I can grocery shop for you” or “take my siblings to their soccer practices” the teen will now be getting more attention on the subject. After thoroughly convincing both parents of the necessity to drive, she can then very casually hint of her needing a car, as there would be absolutely no other way of accomplishing these tasks. By this time, parents will certainly agree to all of the valid points the teen has brought up and will state that it is time for the teen to start driver’s Ed.

Fast forward a couple months and the teen not only has finished the driver’s Ed class but is ready to take the written test. The teen must make sure to fail the test completely the first and second time so that they can understand the answers to the rules on the test, as the correct ones are circled. However, passing the third test is crucial. Once the teen has obtained her permit, she must make sure to practice only a couples times before the test if at all to allow her to savor the joy of passing the written test. Putting into practice what one has learned only makes young drivers more uptight about the driving test as they feel they must remember everything they have learned. Nothing could be worse than a nervous driver.

When the big day comes, don’t worry about coming in early (like many recommend) since you will be waiting in line for three hours anyway. When you are in the car with your instructor, make sure to only do what they say at the last minute. For example, when the instructor says to turn right at the light, you wait until you are in the middle of the intersection to turn right, surprising your instructor and making his or her day. They will love you for this as many of them have had this job for years and are in need of some excitement. You don’t need to worry about getting too many things wrong because as long as you do not do the obvious such as, run a red light or hit a person, you will pass.

The ticket to success is to get a speeding ticket within the first week of obtaining one’s driver’s license. This will insure that you will not only be popular with your friends and parents but also with the police. Since, at this point the teen is a licensed driver, they must practice all the necessary things excellent drivers flawlessly execute. Texting is vital and one must be able to do it quickly and discreetly wherever they are from the class room to the restaurant. Cars are no exception. If a teen has been overly popular with the police they may need to be cautious about showing their iPhone texting skills but not to worry. As long as their car has illegally tinted windows all will be well.

Driving should be an enjoyable experience from the beginning. Teens need all the help they can get when beginning to drive. Just remembering that a good strong argument is the beginning of a great driving experience, will help any teen along the road to freedom and popularity.